Why Self-Leadership Comes Before Leading Others
Let’s be honest for a minute: the hardest person you’ll ever have to lead isn’t your team, your employees, or even your kids.
It’s you.
That’s the battle every leader faces. And if you don’t win it first, everything else you try to build will eventually fall apart.
A lot of leadership books and talks skip straight to managing people—vision, communication, accountability. But here’s the problem: none of that matters if you can’t get yourself under control.
How do you call your team to excellence when you keep cutting corners?
How do you demand discipline when you snooze your alarm three times every morning?
How do you inspire trust when your words and your actions don’t line up?
People don’t follow titles. They follow examples. And that’s why self-leadership is the real starting line.
My Wake-Up Call
Several years ago, I was sitting at 240 pounds. Out of shape. Exhausted. Stressed. And to make it worse, I had an endless supply of excuses:
“I’m too busy.”
“I’ll start next week.”
“My job is demanding.”
“I guess this is just who I am now.”
But deep down, I knew the truth—I wasn’t leading myself. I wanted the respect of others without doing the hard work of respecting myself first.
So I did something crazy: I signed up for a Spartan race. I had no business being there. The training nearly broke me. Every run, every carry, every obstacle forced me to choose between comfort and growth.
One choice at a time, I fought my way forward. Slowly, the excuses started losing. The weight came off. And when I finally crossed that finish line, it wasn’t just about being physically lighter. I was different inside.
That race taught me something I’ll never forget: if I can’t lead myself through pain, through fear, through discomfort—then I have no business trying to lead others.
What This Looks Like
It’s not complicated. It’s not glamorous. And it’s not about perfection. Here’s what it comes down to:
Get clear on your purpose. If you don’t know who you are or what you’re aiming for, you’ll always drift with the current.
Build real habits. Leadership is forged in the small things—when no one’s watching. The way you move your body, use your time, and fuel your mind will always bleed into the way you lead.
Tell yourself the truth. Excuses are easy. Integrity is hard. But integrity—especially with yourself—is where real leadership starts.
Why This Matters
Every leader multiplies who they are into the people around them. If you’re distracted, undisciplined, or inconsistent—don’t be shocked when your team mirrors it back to you.
But when you lead yourself first—when you demand more of yourself than you ask of others—you earn something far more powerful than authority. You earn credibility.
And credibility is the currency of leadership.
The Challenge
So here’s the question: where do you need to start leading yourself again?
Is it in your health? Your schedule? Your thought life? Your relationships?
It won’t feel dramatic. No one will clap when you get up earlier, go for the run, shut off the distraction, or finally keep that promise to yourself. But those are the small victories that make a leader worth following.
Win the battle in the mirror. That’s the fight that matters most. And once you’ve proven you can lead yourself—you’ll be ready to lead others.
